Yeah you’re probably wondering why and how possible the headline is….
It was a metaphor, and I am pleased to tell you that this is not a tale about my privates….
It all started when I gained admission into secondary school. The height I lacked then was compensated by my avid stubbornness and surprising smartness. This was also fueled by my inability to react to pain that most commonly occurred due to sore backsides and palms. In simpler words, I couldn’t cry.
They could beat me all they wanted, stick or stones couldn’t break my bones. As a result, I constantly visited the staffroom to serve one punishment or the other. When I thought I was through, I would be transferred to another teacher. In all this, I didn’t cry.
Sometimes, I would even smile or laugh at the teacher’s futile effort. My grades however, they were surprisingly good despite the lack of complete notes, writing tests in sheets of paper, sleeping in class, in some cases I would even absent myself from the whole class.
I magically maintained this streak through to the senior class. I was posted to commercial class, with new teachers. I began a new terror. This terror went on until that fateful day.
That day that is always the turning point in every thrilling story, that day in which mind provoking decisions were made. That whole day would be summarized into a SLAP!!! The slap that separated the present from the past, the younger me from the present me, the slap was like a send forth from teenage and an initiation to adulthood.
Sorry I failed to mention this, I was allergic to slap. You had the permission to touch any part of my body except my face, I just couldn’t handle the complications. A slap was my Achilles heel. It was my Kryptonite. It was the one thing I avoided at all costs. You just couldn’t slap me.
On that fateful day, I submitted an incomplete biology note, a note that was complete except for a complete diagram of the human skeleton. Who draws a skeleton #fGS?
I was sent by my biology teacher to the staffroom to collect 8 strokes of the cane from my further mathematics teacher.
Now the teacher and I had our irreconcilable differences. Our paths had crossed many times, usually ending with a sore backside. No tears though.
I entered the staffroom and explained the sentence I was given to him, so he could proceed with the enforcement. He smiled and looked at me dead straight in the eyes.
He said, and I quote ‘Osagbemi, Osagbemi, you are here again. Always causing trouble’. All the while, he was denting my face with his palm. The first slap was phenomenal, the rest were supplementary. The feeling I had was similar to the ‘Ripple effect’. My whole body paused in surprise. I felt as if I was betrayed by my ability to resist reaction to pain.
The results were instantaneous. I made sure to avoid him at all costs. Given the chance, I would have changed my name. I became a little well behaved and reserved. People wondered what happened.
I attribute my personality and little achievements today, to that singularly defining moment, the moment my further mathematics teacher kicked me in the n#ts!!